Patient Trust

“Above all, trust in the slow work of God.  We are quite naturally impatient in everything to reach the end without delay.  We should like to skip the intermediate stages.  We are impatient of being on the way to something unknown, something new.  And yet it is the law of all progress that it is made by passing through some stages of instability –  and that it may take a very long time.  And so I think it is with you; your ideas mature gradually – let them grow, let them shape themselves, without undue haste.  Don’t try to force them on, as though you could be today what time (that is to say, grace and circumstance acting on your own good will) will make of you tomorrow.  Only God could say what this new spirit gradually forming within you will be.  Give our Lord the benefit of believing that his hand is leading you, and accept the anxiety of feeling yourself in suspense and incomplete” [“Patient Trust” by Pierre Teilhard deChardin, SJ)

I love slow things.  On the other hand, I hate slow things.

I love leisurely walks down the river and by the beach.  I love the soft breeze of the wind blowing slowly on my face.  I love the speed at which you have to drive by something to make sure you see all of it.

But, if I'm in a hurry, then I hate slow cars.  I hate trains leisurely taking their time in front of me.  I hate that I can't hurry up and make something go faster just because I think it should.  So... I absolutely hate trusting in the slow work of God.  Can't God work any faster?  Can't this problem just hurry up and go away?  Can't we just skip this barren, empty time of being in the middle of something we don't understand and get on with what we can wrap our minds around (sometimes we call that school, or our job, or that decision we have to make, or that trip we have to take)?

Yes, I'm impatient.  Yes, we're all probably impatient- more so than we should be.  Our culture and society doesn't help that any. And, deChardin is right, things do take some time to work out and my wanting things to go faster will probably not make them go faster, even though, I confess, I really want them to.

I've come to the realization this week that I do need to trust in the slow work of God.  Once I slow down for a minute or two, I can take a deep breath.  I can gain some perspective and focus and realize that even in the slowness or what I think is not progress, God is still there.  God is still leading me, and us, and this world into a good future.

The hard part is feeling incomplete and in suspense.  It's betwixt and between, not here, but not there either.  It's an unsettling place to be.  But when I let go of me and embrace the suspense, maybe it's there where I can almost fully trust in the slow work of God.